It’s totally normal for you not to be in the mood today but want to jump your partner tomorrow, or for your partner to want it on the daily while you prefer more of a weekly get-down.
But what if you feel like having sex and your partner have completely mismatched libidos and that it’s impacting the quality of your relationship?
It is mostly anticipated that women have the lowest sexual drive but there are times when men even have the lowest.
Having high levels of anxiety is a common barrier to sexual functioning and libido for both males and females. This may be anxiety due to life stress or specific sex-related anxiety.
People with an intense work schedule, caring responsibilities, or other life stresses may feel fatigued and, as a result, have a low sexual desire.
No matter what sex your partner is, there are ways to navigate this situation so you feel better understood and less anguished about your level of sexual interest.
Talk about it:
Talking about sex with your partner puts you in a super vulnerable place. However, it also means working on this together and potentially even becoming closer.
Be as honest and candid as possible. Talk to your partner about your reasons and let them know you don’t want this to be the status quo, that you are going to work on this, and that you want them to be involved.
Consider how your partner feels:
If the person you love and have sex with on the regular suddenly told you that their sex drive was low, you may probably think you caused it. Your partner probably feels exactly the same way. They may immediately think it’s about them.
If it’s not about them, say so. Explain what is going on and that you want to work through it as a team.
Figure out what you think is sexy:
If your libido is super low, something has your brake pedal slammed to the floor. You need to identify your accelerators, or what turns you on.
This could be a massage from your partner, watching porn, or reading erotica.
Do everything but don’t have sex:
You may be craving for physical connection and intimate interaction as opposed to intercourse. Make a no-sex rule. Instead, for 10 to 20 minutes, simply gaze into each other’s eyes or kiss and make out without having sex or even touching each other’s’ genitals.
Whatever you do, keep all devices off and out of the room so that you have zero distractions. When there’s no pressure to have sex, you’ll be more interested in doing these activities.